I had a rough start to life. Teen parents, an abusive childhood, and a wild ride through my late teens and early twenties that included two felonies, addiction, homelessness, and a relationship I needed to escape. Even in the worst of it, a quiet voice kept telling me: it's going to be okay.
Getting pregnant flipped my life 180 degrees. I left, started over, and built a cleaning business from nothing but the cleaners under my sink and a Craigslist post.
The business grew fast, but behind the scenes, I was on a roller coaster of deprecating self-talk and wondering if I'd ever feel good about myself regardless of how good things were going.
I didn't know how to shut that voice up. So I just kept listening to it, on repeat, like it was fact. And because I believed it, I made a lot of mistakes, one of which landed right back in Brokesville. Killer revenue, completely broke. I remember sitting on my floor, staring at my finances and thinking: how did I let this happen?
That was the moment I stopped and looked at how I was talking to myself. Something I knew at my core was the reason I was in that situation. I could continue to wallow and sit in that disgusting feeling of "you suck," or I could go back to thousands of hours of podcasts, psychology, and self-help I'd had in my ears during all that mindless cleaning. I'd gotten certified in clinical hypnotherapy and Feng Shui, chasing an obsession with how people think. I had all this knowledge about the brain, and somewhere along the way I stopped putting it into action.
So I started all over again, and I started noticing the same pattern everywhere. Clients would let me in to do estimates for cleaning, and the first thing they'd say was something negative about themselves, their home, or their family. I'd read comments in cleaning Facebook groups venting about a client who didn't like their cleaning, how "no one wants to work," or the mountains of reasons they sucked.
I was in the middle of creating courses for cleaning business owners when I realized my purpose isn't to teach people how to run a business, but to teach people how to run their brain.
We're hyper-vigilant about our clients, staff, family, and friends, anyone but ourselves. We would never let a friend talk to themselves the way we talk to ourselves. If my bestie showed up broke, crying, and terrified, I'd put on my "best friend hat" and give her grace, not a verdict.
Head Trash is the self-talk we carry around and never say out loud, the mental junk mail we read like it's the news. I know how to make it stop, and I can show you how.